This leaves a memory

When I went home for a holiday, first three days I couldn't believe I was home. Then I got used to it, but excitement didn't go down, I felt happier everyday. Not that I hadn't been happy in Rhodes, but home is home. It's the place where you are the most comfortable, feel safe and you can trust that your friends know you, when you are happy or sad. At home you can express yourself spontaneously, overseas it's a bit difficult. I feel more closed and incentered abroad than I know and feel I really am. At home I'm sparkling, I do more stuff, get ideas and do things to make it happen. Arrange.

When I came back from holiday, I felt crushed. Tears when I said goodbye to my best of all Katri didn't want to stop. After 22 exhausting hours of traveling and even some sleep, I felt sick next day. Anxiousness of leaving home, going back to Rhodes or pure tiredness, I wasn't quite sure. I wanted to go back, but I also wanted to stay. After a week it would also be time for Thailand, but then I didn't even realize how tough week I was looking forward to in my current home Rhodes.

I arrived in to the middle of a crying party, our loved colleague had just left half an hour before my arrival, and ofcourse many were sad. It just hadn't hit me yet that we really were leaving this team and island and hotel. I was still a bit down because of leaving home, but super excited to start working again. I had so much energy! I felt like the holiday had healed my soul and body, I could have seen a lot of my friends, rested, had fun, had party, had new memories! With this energy I would smile months again. First day at work went alright, I had this energy. The next, my mood was getting mad, because I didn't feel the same atmosphere of leaving yet, and everyone was just talking about leaving. I didn't know how to be or react and think, I didn't feel anything. My mind was totally empty. Not happy to leave, not happy to stay, to be honest, I didn't really understand that we were even leaving. I didn't even somehow realize I was even back from Finland yet!

Sanna left this morning, and Sandra Thursday morning. After these I have been getting more understanding and my mind seems like realizing that we really are leaving. We are not going to see eachother everyday, and some not in few months in worst case. The team, the hotel, country, coulture and language will be totally new and different in just few days. Or actually in few hours.

I just came back from the last evening out with this great people who is still here, and who with I have been living these six months. It's awesome six months we have spent together, and for the first time this week, I feel I'm not ready to go.

Thank you everyone, for being such an awesome team. I will remember you. And luckily, I will see many of them next summer on a cruise we have been planning already this summer. But those who I wont, Thank You! .. But special thank you Sandra, you saved my rest of the season. I will miss you soooooooo much words are not enough to describe. You are just such an awesome person, I've never met anyone like you before. With your smile, you can cheer up so many people. One smile. I adore you. <3 Thank you, I'm glad I had a opportunity to meet you. We'll keep in touch, for sure.

In just two hours my journey to Thailand will start. Only two hours in this beautiful island I will probably miss more than I ever can imagine now. Thank you and goodbye, I've got a lot of good memories here.

 

You can see it from afar
We were riding that wave
Blinded by the lights, and it's something I crave
We didn't want to call it too early
Now it seems a world away
But I miss that day, are we ever gonna feel the same?

Play. Repeat.